[I have no idea how to write my first blog post, you’ve been misled, I am so sorry]

But maybe we can improvise, we can figure it out, right?

[I’m pretty sure you start your first blog post with an introduction, that feels pretty natural.] Here goes nothing:

My names Zoe, I’m 18 and studying Creative Writing and English Literature at York St John University.

[Then I think you add some pictures to split up all the boring text, the ones that make life look a bit more ‘aesthetic’ than it really is.]  The man fixing my light bulb is sceptically watching me crop a photo of myself covered in powderpaint. Is it this blogging?

[I think after that you talk to the internet strangers (Y’know, the ones your parent’s said you shouldn’t talk to but your university said you should definitely talk to) all about yourself]

I’m a writer. I’m obsessed with metafiction and experimental writing. I treat my house plants like family and treat my family like house plants, I pour water on them so they stay hydrated.

[I don’t know how much information you should give but this seems like a healthy amount.]

I love feedback on my work and feeding back on other people’s work. My favourite book is A Clockwork Orange by Anthony Burgess. I value self love more than pretty much everything and my general life goal is to stop people putting themselves down. I really love body shock horror films and their displacement of people’s feelings (and limbs) but you probably think that’s gross or that I love gore porn so we’ll leave that for a future post. I’m a huge Jurassic Park fan and I secretly love Robbie Williams. I’ve worked for MI6 for seventeen years.

[Insert more pictures]

[I’m going to tell the internet strangers what I’m gonna be posting in the future, you can do this too if you know what you’re going to be posting in the future.] Do you know what you’ll be posting in the future? What does your future hold? Will you ever become a famous blogger? Will you survive the next seven days?

I’m going to be using this blog to post work from my degree module ‘Intro to Creative Writing’ and some of my more personal work – hopefully some film reviews and weird opinions will pop up. If you’re into this then leave a comment and let me know what you wanna see next!

[Now it’s time to say goodbye]

Hope you’re having a lovely day,

Zoe x