The meaning of Intimacy – what is it?

“Intimacy is a journey – it is not a tangible thing” (Council Connection, 2016). 

The Cambridge Dictionary defines intimacy as ‘a situation in which you have a close friendship or sexual relationship with someone’ (Cambridge University Press, 2019) and can take many forms including the stereotypical definition, which is sexual intimacy and is the definition that is most recognisable. This form of intimacy however, can be much more than just sexual intercourse and can include an extensive range of sensuous activity. It is ‘any form of sensual expression with each other’ (Council Connection 2016). Other meanings can include:

• Intellectual Intimacy – two people exchanging thoughts and contribute ideas

• Emotional Intimacy – where two individuals can openly share their feelings with one another.

Consent
The Oxford Dictionary defines consent as ‘permission for something to happen or agreement to do something’ (Oxford University Press, 2019). Again, this definition often relates to the consent around sexual intercourse, with the Sexual Offences Act 2003 stating that ‘a person consents to something if that person agrees by choice and has the freedom and capacity to make that choice’ (Yarit Dor, 2019). The laws of the different UK countries also acknowledge a range of state of affairs which can alter someone’s capacity to willingly consent.

Staging intimacy
Every now and then staging intimacy can be emotionally challenging because our bodies ‘may retain past experiences’ (Yarit For, 2019).

“The days of actors’ boundaries being violated or disregarded in the name of art are about to be behind us” Paula Brett, Actress. (Intimacy Directors International UK, 2019).

Although the director can approve of an intimate scene, performers involved have the final say and must consent to the director’s proposal. The performer also has the right to retract any past consent as they have the right to their body. As well as intimacy between actors, the act of touch can be a necessary factor for dance, depending on the style. In Dance-touch vs Non-dance touch, Laura Riva discusses that through touch, it is how we ‘communicate with each other, for the purposes of creating an interesting, fun and safe dance’ (Riva, L. 2017:Dance Place). Although this article is directed at social dance, I think that the concept can be applied to general contact in dance, such as contact improvisation.

“But there’s another type: non-dance touch. Non-dance touch is any touch that you don’t feel is part of dancing. It can be sexual or completely platonic. These are touches that don’t serve to heighten or contribute to the experience of the dance” (Riva, L. 2017:Dance Place).

Dance-touch is not just about what we touch, but also how we touch. It is important to remember that because of personal comfort levels, the difference between dance-touch for one individual could contrast with another individual who feels the intimacy is non-dance touch. Working with consent in dance is alike. The performer has a right to their own body and must consent to any touch, and can also retract that consent if perhaps their ‘dance-touch- becomes ‘non-dance touch’.

Although I was unable to attend the Intimacy workshop, finding some general research around the subject area has enabled me to grasp an in-depth understanding of intimacy in performance. As a performer and a teacher in dance, I have not considered the concept of intimacy/consent whilst performing or teaching. Although there have been times where people have felt uncomfortable being a part of a lift for example, it has never occurred to me that they could potentially be uncomfortable with the contact/intimacy. Going forward I will be aware of the research and apply the knowledge I have gained in a wide range of situations, to receive and give the best experience to myself and others I work with.

Bibliography

Oxford Dictionaries | English. (2019). consent | Definition of consent in English by Oxford Dictionaries. [online] Available at: https://en.oxforddictionaries.com/definition/consent [Accessed 22 Apr. 2019].

Dictionary.cambridge.org. (2019). INTIMACY | meaning in the Cambridge English Dictionary. [online] Available at: https://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/intimacy [Accessed 22 Apr. 2019].

Riva, L. (2017). Dance-Touch vs. Non-Dance Touch. [online] The Dancing Grapevine. Available at: https://www.danceplace.com/grapevine/dance-touch-vs-non-dance-touch/ [Accessed 22 Apr. 2019].

Counsellingconnection.com. (2019). The Meaning of Intimacy | Counselling Connection. [online] Available at: https://www.counsellingconnection.com/index.php/2009/12/15/the-meaning-of-intimacy/ [Accessed 22 Apr. 2019].

Teamidi-uk.org. (2019). [online] Available at: https://www.teamidi-uk.org/ [Accessed 22 Apr. 2019].

Intimacy Handout for Performers. Yarit Dor, 2019.