In November of 2019 I participated in a workshop about the importance of Intimacy Directors and Intimacy Coordinators. Their involvement with modern theatre, film and television productions is becoming increasingly commonplace. Ita O’Brian, who was the first Intimacy Director which the BBC ever hired for their drama Gentleman Jack, explains the importance of having Intimacy Directors in the current entertainment landscape:
Post #metoo with the industry waking up and saying yes it is not suitable, we have to do better. We can’t be having an industry where we allow somebody to be predatory or feel that they’re empowered or belittling to someone that they deem more vulnerable than themselves.
O’Brian, 2019
Intimacy Directors are hired to choreograph and direct scenes between actors which involve any kind of intimacy. Intimacy can include, but is not limited to:
- Kissing or “making out”
- Someone in a state of undress
- Contact with the chest or genitals
- Simulated sex
- Sexually traumatic events
- Sexual violence
- Sexual manipulation
- Sexual tension with no physical contact
- Intimacy between close friends
- Intimacy between parents and children
The role of the Intimacy Choreographer (later renamed to Intimacy Director) was established by Tonia Sina in 2006. In 2016 Sina helped to form Intimacy Directors International (IDI).
Before Intimacy Directors were introduced, intimate scenes were choreographed by the actors themselves. Today this practice is strongly discouraged as incorrect handling of such scenes could potentially result in assault or harassment. In an interview conducted by Erika Morey, Intimacy Director Siobhan Richardson compares directing intimacy to fight choreography, explaining that it is both about using the intimacy as part of the storytelling and ensuring the safety of the actors with tight, safe choreography:
It’s about heightened emotion. You’re practicing being in a heightened state with the background app running [saying] ‘I don’t want to hurt my partner’
Richardson, no date
Intimacy Directors are trained to protect actors using the Pillars of Safe Intimacy, which Sina helped to create. These are context, consent, communication, choreography and closure.
Context refers to understanding exactly what is being depicted in the intimate scene. Before rehearsals the Intimacy Director discusses what the story being told with the scene is, encouraging to view it from the perspective of the character’s in the scene rather than one’s own experiences with intimacy. The Intimacy Director should establish with the director and actors involved what purpose the intimate scene serves within the performance as a whole and discuss aspects of the production such as the set and costume, which is particularly important if the scene is to include nudity or simulated sex. By understanding the context of the scene and its purpose within a piece of theatre, television or film, the team involved can separate their personal lives and intimate histories from the intimate scene which they are depicting.
Communication concerns how IDI wants actors to feel comfortable and safe asking questions and generally conversing with their Intimacy Director and the rest of the production team whilst working on scenes with intimacy. Likewise, actors are expected to respect each other when acting, avoiding using language which excludes or passes judgement upon others. It is also expected that communication of consent is maintained throughout rehearsal, with actors checking in on each other rather than simply assuming that consent is granted without verbally receiving it. Nobody involved in a scene is obliged to share any sensitive information about themselves, including their sexual orientation or previous trauma and any information which is disclosed should remain confidential.
Additionally, IDI strongly dissuades the use of sensitive and sexual language when it isn’t needed. One example of this is directors asking actors to act “sexy”. In a blog for Theatrical Intimacy Education, Chelsea Pace explains that such language can make actors feel uncomfortable and self conscious, saying that using these phrases “can make them feel nervous and actually make the problem worse” (Pace, 2017). Additionally, Pace highlights that trying to push for “sexiness” can lead to portrayals of intimacy which feel less authentic. Pace explains:
These ideas of “sexy” get in the way of truthful acting and they limit the types of stories actors have the opportunity to play. Missing the truth of the moment and “acting sexy” can drag a production down and can feel like a minefield to navigate as a director or educator.
Pace, 2017
Asking actors to be “sexy” and other sensitive language should be avoided, instead using more neutral terms. For example, a scene with intimacy should be referred to by a numbered title such as “Scene 7” rather than as the “sex scene”. Whilst it is fine for intimate scenes to be handled with a light tone they should maintain a level of professionalism, avoiding inappropriate jokes or comments.
Everyone involved with the production also needs to be aware of how they can report harassment or abuse to ensure the safety and protection of themselves and others on the team. If someone on the team makes a mistake the person who made it must apologise without trying to pass off blame and the apology should be accepted. Doing this maintains a level of professionalism and respect. When mistakes are made in the Intimacy Director’s absence it should be reported to someone in a higher position such as Stage Manager to try and find a resolution.
It is also important for there to be transparency and open communication before rehearsing an intimate scene. The boundaries of the actors and the expectations of the director and production must be mutually understood before production begins. This level of clear communication is very important upon the signing of the contract as any changes, such as an actor retracting consent, will impact upon the whole production. Whilst actors are free to retract consent at any point they must be aware that doing so may have consequences depending upon how it affects the production. Communication is especially important regarding scenes containing nudity, which actors should be made aware of at the audition. If a recall audition requires nudity then the actor must be given at least 24 hours notice and 48 hours notice is recommended by IDI for rehearsals involving nudity.
Consent is clearly established by IDI as a concept different to that of permission. The distinction which they make is that whilst an Intimacy Director may give permission for two actors to perform an intimate act, both performers need to consent to the act and feel comfortable doing it. It is important for an Intimacy Director to understand that they cannot make performers consent to anything and if a performer does not want to perform a particular action within a scene that needs to be respected by everyone involved. In that situation is the responsibility of the Intimacy Director to find an alternative which all performers are comfortable consenting to. An open dialogue should also be maintained throughout the rehearsal of an intimate scene, with the actors’ physical and emotional boundaries made clear and consent being asked for and granted for every action to ensure the safety of everyone involved. To teach this, we participated in an activity in the November workshop in which we were put into pairs. In these pairs, we took turns asking each other for consent to perform physical actions such as shaking hands and giving each other a hug. The person being asked for consent as free to give consent, refuse or ask for an alternative with both parties can agree upon. This practice should be commonplace when rehearsing and performing intimate scenes.
Choreography for intimate scenes should never be rehearsed by the actors by themselves, as this could risk the actors putting themselves in physical or emotional danger. IDI establishes certain rules to ensure the safety and well being of those involved with the choreography of intimacy. These include always having a third party, who isn’t an actor or the Intimacy Director, present when setting and rehearsing the choreography in scenes. This disconnected observer helps to ensure the safety of the actors and Intimacy Director. Actors also always have the right to ask for an Intimacy Director to be present to handle scenes containing intimacy. Intimacy Directors should treat each production and scenario individually, choreographing scenes according to the actors which they are working with rather than reusing the same general blocking and movements.
There may also be situations in which it is necessary for the Intimacy Director to step in to demonstrate the choreography. In these situations it is important that the Intimacy Director always asks for consent, similarly to the actors themselves. There are also certain things which an Intimacy Director should never be expected to do, such as demonstrate kissing or get naked themselves for scenes depicting nudity. Once the choreography has been established, it should not be changed in any way. If there is a change it shall be questioned by management and the scene shall be rehearsed before the next performance. If an actor retracts their consent to do something within an intimate scene the Intimacy Director must be brought in to change it. No changes to the scene should be made without the Intimacy Director overseeing it.
Closure is designed to help the actors involved within an intimate scene to keep their real relationships and lives separate from those of the characters and situations which they are playing out in performance. Intimacy Directors teach performers techniques to maintain this separation between their reality and the fiction of the scene. These techniques can include creating a consistent routine for exiting work after rehearsing or performing an intimate scene. Intimacy Directors are encouraged to find unique ways of disengaging from the intimate scenes which work for the team involved. This can extend to periods of self-care for actors following rehearsals and performances to ensure that they are taking the best care of their bodies and minds.
Being provided with the opportunity to learn about the role of Intimacy Directors and the rights which actors have was enlightening and empowering. As a theatre maker, it was incredibly useful to be made aware of the rules which should be in place when working with others on intimacy and to learn how to establish these with the people who I collaborate with through open communication. As an actor, to know what my rights are and what my expectations should be when performing in intimate scenes was invaluable knowledge for keeping myself physically and emotionally safe in the future. To know that Intimacy Directors are becoming increasingly common and that awareness of them and their role in the arts is being raised is very reassuring and a massively progressive step for the theatre, television and film industries.
Bibliography
Intimacy Directors International UK. (2020) Brief History of Intimacy Practice [Internet]. Available from
https://www.teamidi-uk.org/briefhistoryofintimacypractice [Accessed 29th March 2020].
Morey, E. (no date) The 5 Cs of Intimacy: In Conversation with Siobhan Richardson [Internet]. Available from
https://www.theatreartlife.com/one-and-done/5-cs-intimacy-conversation-siobhan-richardson/ [Accessed 2nd April 2020].
O’Brian, I. (2019) The intimacy coordinator that helps choreograph sex scenes [Internet Video]. Available from
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/entertainment-arts-48401926/the-intimacy-coordinator-that-helps-choreograph-sex-scenes [Accessed 2nd April 2020].
Pace, C. (2017) The “Sexy” Trap [Internet]. Available from
https://www.theatricalintimacyed.com/blog/2017/9/26/the-sexy-trap [Accessed 2nd April 2020].