Shivers was a 15 minute long solo performance which I wrote, self-directed and performed on 13th December 2018. I created Shivers for my Auto/biography Performance module in my 2nd year at university.
The piece was a conversation with myself. Using multi-role, I adopted different personas which represented different parts of my own personality. These different personas conflicted in an attempt to figure out how I should present myself if I want to be accepted.
During the development of Shivers I researched and learnt from various other artists who created their own autobiographical theatre. I took inspiration from Bobby Baker’s work, in which she too often played with how she represented herself on stage by portraying contradictory identities.
I also learnt from the practice of Adrian Howells, who had discovered in his work that the use of silence could be more revealing and allow for greater reflection than excessive speech. This in particular informed the formation of my most vulnerable, truthful persona, who for most of his appearances in my performance was unable to speak. This provided a stark contrast to my other, more talkative identities.
Shivers was also the first performance which I devised independently. The process for creating this piece taught me a lot about what qualities I valued in my own work and how best to achieve them. For instance, near the start of my creative process I played with the concept of putting on and taking off different items of clothing to represent each part of my personality, going as far as naming each persona after the item of clothing which I assigned them to.
Shivers was also the first performance which I devised independently. The process for creating this piece taught me a lot about what qualities I valued in my own work and how best to achieve them. For instance, near the start of my creative process I played with the concept of putting on and taking off different items of clothing to represent each part of my personality, going as far as naming each persona after the item of clothing which I assigned them to.
“Blazer” represented the best part of myself, which I was confident sharing with other people. 
“Horns” was a reflection of my social anxiety, preferring to stay quiet rather than risk doing anything wrong. 
“Fingerless” represented my passions which I considered guilty pleasures and felt embarrassed to share. 
“Shades” was a manifestation of what I thought people percieved as cool. 
“Snood” was my confidence whilst performing onstage. He was the part of me which I was the best at being.
However, late into my process I realised that donning these clothes to adopt personas served as more of a barrier to the audience than they did work as a useful tool. Upon realising this, I massively stripped back the presentation of the piece. I removed all of the symbolic clothing, putting faith in my own acting ability to clearly communicate the various personas. This resulted in a cleaner, more accessible piece which the audience could be entertained by and emotionally connect with.
Through making Shivers I realised that it was possible to create work which, whilst stating from a place which is very personal to the theatre maker, has the capacity to connect with a vast audience through themes which can be universally understood and identified with by a range of people. This could be having guilty pleasures, social anxiety and self-consciousness or the basic human desire to fit in and be accepted by others. In the case of Shivers, I was able to explore all of these themes and more through an exploration of myself.
