It seems like the more we make the further away we are. We just have to keep going forward and make images and not a show. As difficult as that may seem. Even if at the end of the process we make a show in two days It will be the result of months of image making and not two days of image making. Know your materials, James.
Blog entry dated: 1/04/19.
The above statement was my first blog entry, written on April Fools Day (a coincidence, I promise). It shows the angst and excitement that comes with theatre making. Constantly itching to have a tangible entity in front of me, desperately trying to call five minutes of obscure material a performance. I’m not going to regurgitate the cliched phrase of ‘trust the process.’ Okay that was a lie. It’s the only thing I can say to summarise my feelings most points throughout this journey. And for this I apologise for re-tredding old ground. I apologise to you, dear reader.
For the past five years I have made collaborative theatre with Josh and Ashley. This process marks the culmination of all of these years. All the successes and mistakes we haven’t dwelled on, we have instead learnt from our experiences – however good or bad. As a collaborative, we make images cogently – constantly sticking with ideas until they are rich in context. The composition of the performance as a whole may only fall into place on the weekend prior to the performance. This gun-ho, charlatan approach to theatre making initially frustrated and scared me. This maybe because I strive to attach to the tangible gifts of theatre making. Instead of attempting to swim in the sea of not knowing what the final product maybe. I can honestly say that this is the first time I have enjoyed my swim in this sea. This maybe because I have realised that material, created after weeks on end is deeply rich in nature. It is not the result of making for the sake of making against the clock. It is the process of making in cognitive ways, brimming with pleasure. My last minute days are behind me. On the other hand, my charlatan days? They maybe just beginning.