20 safe spaces. In the whole of the UK only 20 places where 40% of all abuse victims can visit and truly feel safe. What is the logic in this?
When it comes to Domestic Abuse, men are looked at as the perpetrators. In film, TV and books the abuser is usually a man, popular shows such as 13 Reason Why, the Walking Dead season 1, and multiple soaps such as Eastenders (Little Mo’s storyline) show woman as helpless victims, and men as the evil abusers. In reality this is not always the case.
To say men do not abuse women is to say women don’t abuse men. It would be
ridiculous to say. Approximately 1 in 4 women are abused in their lifetime, be it sexually or through violence, whilst one in 6 men are abused. Yet women’s shelters are common with approximately one per city focusing only on women, compared to the 20 across the whole of the UK dedicated to men. According to Data from the Home Office which shows that men made up about 40% of domestic violence victims between 2004-05 and 2008-09. With men making up 43% of victims in 2006-2007.
With such extreme statistics I decided to go straight to the source and joined chat rooms for male domestic abuse victims and found Randy. A survivor of male 
domestic abuse who’s partner stole his money, slapped him multiple times whenever he disappointed her, whilst also making multiple online profiles to sleep with other men, then laugh at him whenever he found out. He stated “She was speaking to over 800 people throughout all her profiles” some of which Randy knew socially. One of the men was a high up police officer who she had spoken to about possibly hiding drugs in the house so she could frame him for dealing.
Something like this would mean his (now ex) wife would get full custody of their child, something which luckily he was able to avoid by reporting the messages to the authorities. But it was not all lucky, two days later she filed for divorce and then called the police claiming that Randy tried to stab her. “I didn’t know what 
to do”, he explained, “she stood at the phone crying whilst staring directly at me smiling”. Randy was taken in for questioning but let off due to lack of evidence. That didn’t end his ex-wife’s tirade though, his wife currently has full custody of their child and has even taken both of their cats. “I felt destroyed” Randy stated, ” she beat me, stole from me, used me, but I still felt like she cared”.
Many domestic abuse Victims are usually manipulated by their partners to believe it is for love and for Randy it was no different, “she’d occasionally show me the love she used to and I thought it would be okay again”. Currently Randy has spent over £15000 in legal fees to gain back his rights to his possessions, his child, and to prosecute his ex-wife. But with men receiving less and less help Randy’s story is just one in thousands and the victims are still voiceless. All because society dictates men as the abusers, not the victims.
Effected men can contact the website below
