you go to the mall
you must go to the mall
buy a birthday present for your mom before you fly back home
maybe you havent been paying attention to the news but there are security checks everywhere
big fat portly guards checking ids
your friend goes through because his id checks out
your passport they take a while on
put it in a pile with a dozen other colourful nationalities and tell you to sit down with all the other coloureds and expats and aliens
the mall is big but near empty
you sit on a bench with the rest by the dysfunctional water fountain
your friend goes ahead to get a head start on the gift search
he knows about this stuff better than you
everyone knows everything better than you
hes gone for a while
and then you feel it first before you hear it
the floor quakes and shivers beneath your feet and then
bang
its good youre sitting down
the guards with their imbalances in weight stumble as the ground see-saws under them but then they catch their footing
they herd and tell all of you to hike it into the elevator
the request doesnt come off as questionable in the moment but in hindsight you think why not the stairs
its a big elevator and they jam you all in there then the doors shut
you feel it going down
the whimpers and murmurs of foreigners in distress
then the elevator goes down down and the whimpers turn into high-pitched screams of terror
the floor gives in from underneath you and you all go feet first down a slide of dirt and fossils and gravel
someones feet are pushing on your shoulders and face while you know youre doing the same to someone else
you all then land in a pile of bodies in some cavernous area
you dont know how you extract yourself out alive or without suffocating but you do
the cries of hysterical women and shocked silence of men still continue
its a mine
there are flatbeds on train tracks
enough to fit everyone in but there is still pushing and hair pulling
you are not afraid to join the fray
be one of the first people on
one other brown guy next to you tells you to calm down and you ignore him but you think he is right
he tells someone down the line to pull the lever
he seems to know how these things work
you all hear a loud clanking sound then a snap and the trams jolt and begin to move
screech of wheels on rusted train lines
all of you hold on to whatever you can whether its the sides or the rails or each other
the wails have subsided to whimpers and sniffing again after someone tells the car to shut up
then there is a united held breath as the carriages recede out from the cave to the stark chill of night
the horizon is emblazoned by fire and light
it shines on all your stupid faces
you come out miles from the mall but you still see it under fire
helicopters and fighter jets pass by overhead
each spraying blinding flares of hellfire upon the building to raze it to the ground
you all can do nothing but stare in awe
you dont know how long the ride is till you make it to some sort of dock with shipping containers massed on top of each other
but it seems safe
there are people everywhere
young virile people
you can tell by the way they embrace dance make out and sway in drunken stupors
you see purple and pink lights come from the doors of some containers along with dance music
proximity alone gets you hot and bothered and feeling drunk
you all get off the rail car
you wander about like dumb chickens
you look for the guy you were with on the car but hes gone
you will never see him again
instead you find your friend
looking safe and untouched and the same
youd forgotten about him but youre glad hes not dead
hes on his phone surrounded by a group of other people on their phones
he sees you
you hug
he shows you a picture of a girl on instagram
theyre there in the shop
making out
he asks what do you think
you say shes alright
pretty ugly though
that same asian girl looks up at you from her phone
you didnt realize she was there
you dont feel guilty
you walk away
feeling there is someone you have to call but dont know who
not your mom she wouldve told you i told you so
someone else
you sift through your contacts
accidentally hit call on a chick youve never talked to
hang up immediately and hope that never shows up on her feed
who did you want to call
you could use someone close
still on good terms
you hit the phone button
ringing and ringing
when you hear the swears on the other line you dont know what to think
theyre calling you names
terrible names
it takes you a moment to see that you actually called the boyz
how that happened you dont know
theyre asking where you are you asshole why dont you call where have you been
your friend then comes along and hijacks the call
which is good
youre too exhausted and destabilized to deal with them just now
you walk off and find a mirror on a wall somewhere and see you look like shit
covered in dust and your face is bleeding
bleeding from where exactly you dont know so you try to wipe it away but there is too much
you think on who you wanted to call but you dont remember
why cant you remember
then you wake up and you are in bed
safe but still scared
who did you want to call
Hashim AlHamar
Hashim AlHamar is a writer from Kuwait. He holds an MFA in Creative Writing from Kingston University and is currently undertaking a PhD in the same field at York St. John University.
Image by Ion Fet on UnSplash