Having a sibling, for some, can be one of the biggest joys life can bring. It can mean a buddy for life, your number one venting partner when parents and/or other relatives are doing your head in, and someone to journey through life’s trials with. Whether younger or older, siblings often play a significant role in much of our development as we learn to share the time, attention, and affection of our caregivers, and for many, our material possessions too. They can also play a huge part in our social progression (Yeh and Lempers, 2004) aiding friendship development and adolescent self-esteem.
Now, do not get me wrong, I will be the first to hold my hands up and say that all this is most definitely something I say in beautiful HINDSIGHT, and at numerous times having a sibling as a child felt like hell, haha. Lots of arguing, pulling faces, name-calling, jealousy and comparisons, emotional meltdowns and, as you can imagine, one extremely exhausted mother! But I can say wholeheartedly that those difficult times were worth it to be as close with my younger brother as I am now and, as an autistic woman, having a sibling meant so much more because this was a person that I could learn how to socially survive from, be it through early years of observing and copying or through questions and open conversations later down the line. He was my rock even before he was my friend.
This National Sibling Day, I want everyone to think of their siblings, be it biological, familial, or simply a friend who without a doubt is truly more. How have they helped shape you? Who would you be today without them? If negative sibling relations have been experienced, what has it taught you, and are there other people in your life who now play that sibling role for you? Do you feel you can express your feelings to your sibling, and are they a part of your support network?
If you have experienced the loss of a sibling, though it may be tough I would urge you to also try and use today to think on your sibling and the memories you hold together. How did they bring their light into your days? What were their qualities that you admired the most, and do you see any of them in yourself? What always made them smile and/or giggle? And which of your buttons did they know exactly how to press to wind you up? Because let’s face it, that is the one skill that ALL siblings possess; I’m sure everyone will agree!
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Author: Grace
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References:
Yeh, H.C. and Lempers, J.D. (2004) ‘Perceived sibling relationships and adolescent development’, Journal of Youth and Adolescence, 33 (2), pp. 133-147.
