Whilst we consider the impact on the individuals mental health, another thing that tends to often be overlooked, is the impact of ADHD /ADD on family members of those diagnosed. To gain this perspective and try to understand how family members or friends’ mental health can be impacted, I spoke with Sharon about her experience surrounding her daughter’s diagnosis:
How old was your daughter when she was diagnosed?
Sharon: 10
What led you to believe there was an issue, and pursue diagnosis?
Sharon: She was constantly distracted and her school work was suffering. Her emotions were all over the place and she was always tearful. She would even get distracted when she went to the toilet and forget to flush!
How did it affect her mental health?
Sharon: She would become upset very easily when she didn’t complete tasks that she had to do. It was affecting her relationships with peers at school, as she was seen as a cry baby.
Did she have any mental health issues prior to diagnosis?
Sharon: Only the emotional outbursts as mentioned previously. No diagnosed mental health issues.
How has the diagnosis impacted on her school work / attendance?
Sharon: She was diagnosed and started on medication just as covid-19 hit, so she hasn’t really been in school since. She did virtual learning last year and her grades improved from C-D to A-B. The school would mark her down for not completing work prior to diagnosis. She has now moved to an online school (home schooling) this year because she is happier learning this way and the online school support her needs better.
So, we’ve talked about how the conditions affects your daughter, what impact has all of this had on you and your mental wellbeing?
Sharon: Prior to the diagnosis I was so stressed about the was she was. I couldn’t give her a task to do because I knew it wouldn’t get done, we would end up getting angry at her, and her at us. I ended up crying at her paediatrician, because I just didn’t know what to do. I didn’t think it was ADHD because she is not hyperactive and could concentrate on things she liked, such as reading, lego building and art.
How were other family members affected?
Sharon: Kev (husband) was like me, and still gets frustrated at times, as he doesn’t fully accept that some of her actions are due to her conditions.
What support does she have?
Sharon: She sees her paediatrician 3 monthly; she has medication that she takes on school days which helps her to focus on the tasks required. Her Dr is excellent, I’m able to call her anytime with concerns, and I’m even able to chat with her on Facebook. The new school are also supportive. They can take over her computer to keep her focused so I don’t have to constantly check that she is on task and signed in to the correct lesson, which stops me being concerned that school will be sending her home with a bunch of unfinished work!
Has your mental health / wellbeing improved since diagnosis?
Sharon: It has in one sense because I have peace of mind that I know what the issues are, and because of both the medication and change of school. She only takes medication on school days so I am still having to constantly remind her what she should be doing at other times. If I leave her to get a shower she will be in there for an hour, and during that time not wash her hair. She has chores but again I have to watch what she’s doing to make sure they are done. Her time management is none existent. This is mentally exhausting for me and Kev, but it’s something we know have to live with and manage.
ADHD can be challenging mentally not only for the individual diagnosed, but those close to them also.
Where to access help and support?
If you recognise the issues described and feel that you can relate to them and need further support, there are a few places you can access help, advice and support.
Initially I would suggest speaking with your GP about any concerns you may have.
The ADHD Aware website has some really useful information also: Getting an NHS ADHD diagnosis.
The UK Adult ADHD Network also have a list of specialists in the UK Adult ADHD Service Map.
Another option is to pay privately for assessment also, and many private clinics offering this can be found online.
Similarly if you are struggling with mental health issues, you can contact your GP, or there are a wide number of local counselling services you can contact along with ourselves. Here at CMHC we can also offer support and a variety of services that are open to the York community.
