Always wondered what doing a PhD entails? Hear from the first postgraduate researcher affiliated with the ISJ to complete his PhD. Dr Matthew Green is continuing to contributed to social justice at YSJ in his role as Lecturer in Sport and Social Science.
How has undertaking this research changed you?
The final question posed during my Viva Voce, signifying the final hurdle in my PhD journey and evoking a momentary feeling of panic. Yet, this question also filled me with happiness, pride and a sense of achievement. To be honest, I cannot recall exactly how I answered this and I am not sure I would like to relisten to my response. It is only now, two months after being asked this question and having graduated from York St John University as a Doctor of Philosophy, that I feel in a position to provide an evolving answer which partly reflects my experiences. It is within this blog that I wish to share my journey of fear, support and growth as a postgraduate researcher within the Institute for Social Justice.
Dr Matthew Green graduating at York Minster with Dr Charlotte Haines Lyon and Dr Mark Mierzwinski
Fear, an intense emotion that has accompanied me throughout the journey and one that I believe will accompany for years to come. Embarking on a full-time PhD filled me with fearful thoughts, have I made the right decision? Do I belong here? What if I fail? I grappled with such thoughts for throughout the process, regularly battling feelings of imposter syndrome, and always nervous about receiving supervisory feedback. I use the word battling purposefully as this is how it often felt. Despite constant reassurance from my supervisors, I often felt uncertain of my role in academia and questioned my capability to succeed. What I now realise is that such feelings are normal, it is ok to be fearful, and it is only in response to such feelings that you can push yourself to un-cover the answers to your self-doubting questions. I am still fearful of failure, I still have feelings of self-doubt, but I also now have a previously undiscovered self-confidence and unwavering determination to succeed in the face of fear. This is the first way undertaking doctoral research has changed me.
Support, something that I have never been short of during my time at York St John University. Throughout my PhD journey support came from many directions, some expected, whilst many were surprising but no less significant. Whilst it would be remiss of me not to thank my supervisors Dr Mark Mierzwinski, Dr Charlotte Haines Lyon and Professor Helen Sauntson for the boundless support they provided as my PhD supervisors, here I wish to provide a snapshot of the support I received from members of the Institute for Social Justice. One of the most reassuring aspects of my journey has been the incredible support from fellow postgraduate researchers and academic staff who form the Institute for Social Justice. The sharing of self-doubts, frustrations, and setbacks, alongside celebrations of moments of triumph and success enabled me to ride the crest of the waves which resembled the highs and lows of the journey. Whether it was study support sessions, research group meetings, co-authored writing opportunities, or simply discussions over a coffee, without such support I would not have been able to finish this project. This is second way undertaking this research project has changed me. I now see how support can come from all directions and in all forms, often when you least expect but most need it.
Growth, funding my PhD, the Institute for Social Justice placed me in a privileged position from which I had an opportunity to fulfil a lifetime ambition. Whilst I am incredibly proud of my academic achievements, I am most proud of my personal growth across the past four years. Whilst engagement in interdisciplinary research, immersion in research groups, presenting at conferences, and experience of teaching have undoubtedly enabled me to grow as an early career academic, I would like to think I am now a more responsible, compassionate and courageous human being as a result of undertaking my PhD research. The Institute for Social Justice has offered a unique interdisciplinary environment, one that encourages PhD researchers to step outside of their specific fields and these interdisciplinary interactions have broadened my awareness of social injustices and understandings of how collectively we all have role to play in championing diversity, fostering inclusivity, and challenging prejudice.
Throughout this piece I have referenced the word journey, the process of travelling from one place to another. Like a car journey, my postgraduate research journey had a start – Tuesday 2nd February 2021 – and an end – Wednesday 17th September 2024. In between there were numerous moments of acceleration and stagnation, elation and frustration, success and setbacks. Finishing this journey, I’m leaving not only with new knowledge but with a newfound sense of confidence and purpose that extends beyond the confines of academia. I am excited to continue to build on what I have learned, ready to embrace new challenges and overcome new fears in all aspects of life. So, returning to the question at the beginning of this short blog, I think it is almost impossible to qualify exactly how undertaking a PhD grounded in social justice has changed me. As I set out on a new journey as a lecturer in sport and social science, I can only hope to evidence this impact through my actions, relationships and work.
